When Hiei gets a Playstation 2
by White Rose Archer
Summary: (This was taken off but I reloaded it and changed the rating. ) When Hiei needs eye-to-hand coordination help, Yusuke and Kuwa have just the thing.
1. Begin the Training

[Strange as hell idea that I randomly had.   
  
Will change back and forth between story form and script form.   
  
WARNINGS: Weirdness, insanity and Kuwabara being useful.   
  
Spoilers will be sprinkled in this fic and will not have warnings so... um, be aware.   
  
OK, starting notes, done. Fic, now. ]  
  
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When Hiei Gets a PS2  
  
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Prolouge:   
  
The faint whistle of wind in the training area indicated the demon was busy. Another sword slash fell against the target as it broke apart into stuffing and wood with a small amount of Spirit Energy. 'Another one dead,' he mused in his mind. Hiei, jagan demon and decent plan maker, had one major flaw. Only Koenma noticed it on that fine day, as another target was demolished before the bandaged hand.   
  
Actual Fic:   
  
Like most fanfictions I write, it was a beautiful sunny day. Sunny days are stupidly common in Toyko and only got one sound out of Hiei.   
  
"Hn."   
  
Yes, Hiei was walking in ningenkai, doing absolutly nothing. Boredom easily enslaved the demon so instead of watching ogres trip over their feet and go on walking on their hands, he decided to watch humans trip over their feet and fall on their face.   
  
Suddenly, Hiei's jagan picked up a message from Koenma. {Hiiiiiieiiiiii...}  
  
Frowning, the tiny demon responded. }What do you want?{  
  
{Me and Kurama have something to discuss with you. Come to Spirit World right away. }  
  
}Fine.{ And with that, Hiei ran into an alley and disappeared to Spirit World.   
  
  
  
***  
  
Red eyes penatrated the ceiling. 'Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored,' Hiei thought. As I said, boredom enslaves. So he took a portable CD player and began listening to Shining Polaris. As the music ran through his ears, Hiei danced through the halls, with the song on repeat.   
  
***  
  
Koenma was busy preparing the files he had to show Hiei. This was extremely important to the tiny ruler as it could solve a lot.   
  
George burst in yelling. "LORD KOENMA!! This is huge, it's crazy, you simply have to see it. It's nothing you've ever seen!"  
  
Small hazel eyes turned towards the ogre. "Ogre, I've seen anything and everything you could ever possibly show me," Koenma said, expecting a silly thing like a hole in the wall resembling his face.   
  
"Hiei is break dancing to music!"  
  
"NANI!!??"  
  
***  
  
Koenma rushed into the room. "HIEI!" He caught Hiei in mid headspin.   
  
"Oro?"[1]  
  
A vein started popping from Koenma's forehead. "My office, NOW!" The jagan demon flew past Koenma and seated himself in a big plastic chair infront of Kurama, who seemed amused to no end.   
  
The red-haired kitsune smiled at his friend. "Trouble, Hiei?"   
  
"Hn," he said. Koenma entered.   
  
"Now then, lets get started," Koenma began. "Hiei, your power has been increasing over a large amoutn of my security guards and that's no easy task. Also, your defenses have been excellent lately. Speed and strength practically speak for themselves. There's only one reason you are even touchable, which is why I've called you here today. "  
  
"...?"   
  
Koenma continued. "The reason is your eye-to-hand coordination. It's very slow and determines half of a fight. We have two ways of raising it. You can either... go back to Murkuro or there's a human way that Kurama has informed me of. "   
  
Flashes of his old trainer ran through his mind. "Not Murkuro! Anyone but her!"   
  
Kurama's smile brightened as he took over. "The method is used mostly among children and teenagers but some adults use it too. They're called video games. I've played a few myself and they're interesting. We have a few chosen out for you already," Kurama finished, as he handed Hiei a piece fo paper which read the following:   
  
Video Games for Hiei  
  
* Jak and Daxter  
  
* Silent Hill  
  
* Inuyasha  
  
* Parasite Eve  
  
* Final Fantasy 9  
  
Koenma took over. "We will give you the games as you progress. Kurama will brief you on each one. They are not in the order you will get them. Any questions?"   
  
"Only one. Who devised this list?"   
  
"Kuwabara and Yusuke. They're the only ones familiar with video games," Kurama said, before leading Hiei out of Spirit World.   
  
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[1]= Kenshin's word.... ya.   
  
Shinrigaku: Heheheheheheheh, don't ask... R&R!!!!!!!] 


	2. Silent Hill

[ One little thing. In this fic, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei and Kurama all share an apartment. Kurama and Hiei sleep in one room and Kuwa and Yusuke sleep in another.   
  
OK, have fun with this, neh?   
  
(The TV)]  
  
When Hiei Gets a Playstation 2  
  
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Kurama opened the door to his apartment to see his friends lazing around the living room. Taking off his shoes, the kitsune noticed that Yusuke and Kuwabara seemed to be annoying Hiei. 'What else is new?'   
  
"Jus' lemme see it, you twerp!"  
  
"Hn."   
  
"You're saying Koenma, he of no fun, gave this to you?"   
  
"Yes, detective. That's what I said. "   
  
The kitsune approached them. "What's up?"   
  
Kuwabara looked at Kurama like his hair had just been shaved off. "The ceiling. I thought smart people went to college. [1]"   
  
The fellow red-head sweatdropped. "I'll let that one pass because you are stupid, Kuwabara. "  
  
Yusuke took over. "Hiei got a PS2!" He poked Hiei in the head. "Lucky creep."   
  
"I'm not touching the thing. Nor am I touching the cds or the little box.. thing... HN!"   
  
"But Hiei! Video-games are fun! You get to kill people and stuff!"   
  
"I could kill you right here, Baka." Hiei's eyes darted to the cover of a game. Grey and white mostly. A man's face was on it and the case alone intrigued Hiei to no end. "Detective, which one is that?," Hiei demanded, pointing at it.   
  
The chocolate orbs focused on the game cover. "That's Silent Hill. Rated Mature for violence, blood, gore and being able to scare Kuwabara out of his socks. "   
  
"I was NOT scared!! Those lil things are just suprising!"   
  
"Eh?" Yusuke smirked and turned over the cover to the back and began reading, dispite Kuwabara screaming at him.   
  
Kurama sat on the floor between Hiei and Kuwabara to listen to Yusuke. The detectibe cleared his throat and began. "Harry Mason and his daughter Cheryl are driving to their favorite vacation spot. Later that night, a figure suddenly appears from out of the darkness, Harry turns the wheel in panic and the car careens off the road, knocking Harry unconscious. Awakening sometime later, he realizes that Cheryl is missing. Stumbling out of the wreckage, he heads towards the small town of Silent Hill."   
  
Hiei smiled. "On second thought, maybe I'll try this game..."   
  
*LATER THAT NIGHT!!!!!!*  
  
After the Playstation 2 had been hooked up with a small grey memory card in the slot, Hiei sat crosslegged on the couch, controller in hand. "Are you sure you'll be alright?," Kurama asked.   
  
"Yeah, I could stay with you, Hiei."   
  
Hiei shot a glare towards the two. "I'll be fine. I've faced worse than a video game. "  
  
Yusuke's eyes softened. "Ok, man. Good luck."   
  
Kuwabara danced after Yusuke. "Don't wet yourself, Hiei!"   
  
The fox smiled at his friend. "I'm just in the other room if you need me, Hiei."   
  
"Hn. 'Night fox."   
  
"Good night to you as well, Hiei." As Kurama left, the jaganshi turned his eyes to the tv.   
  
"OK, you son of a female dog, lets go!" The switch was flipped, the starting screen showed, and the game began. At first, nothing reached Hiei's ears. Then, a creepy strings piece filled the room and Hiei's mind. "Maybe this will be more promising than I imagined. "   
  
*1:00 AM*  
  
A tired Hiei yawned but didn't dare close his eyes. He was afraid he'd miss something. 'These games should not be for ningens,' Hiei thought, as he slaughtered another two small life-forms in the school. 'These should be used to help young demons develop a mind and a lust for blood.' As his character went into the bathroom, something shocked him. "AH!" Hiei fell back on the couch at the sight of a crucified corpse. "Oh... my... god...," he said before proceeding into laughter. "If that's what happened to me, I'd hate to see Kuwabara's face! "  
  
*8:00 AM*  
  
Kurama got up for breakfast only to find an insominac on the couch being poked at by Kuwabara and Yusuke. "Is he dead? "  
  
Yusuke glared at Kuwabara. "If he was dead, his fingers wouldn't be moving," he said, pointing at Hiei's hands which were still moving over the controls.   
  
Kurama poked Hiei in the head. "Hiei?"  
  
"Hn?"   
  
"Koenma only wanted you to get through the school. He never said to beat the game."   
  
"I just did."   
  
Yusuke and Kuwabara turned their eyes to the screen. "NANI?!"   
  
(Daddy... goodbye...)  
  
Kurama sweatdropped. "Ummm, Hiei? That's the worst ending. "   
  
"I didn't feel like saving any ningens," Hiei replied before yawning. "God I'm tired. I'm gonna make some toast. " With that, he got up and made his way to the kitchen.   
  
Yusuke crossed his arms. "It's gonna be a long training. "   
  
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[[1]= No Kurama bashing intended. This was to make Kuwabara look and act like a moron.   
  
Yeah, this sucked. R&R] 


	3. Parasite Eve

[Update!!!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-hit with a tomato  
  
Disclaimer: Someday... ]

* * *

When Hiei Gets a PlayStation 2  
  
Chapter 2: Parasite Eve  
  
Hiei, having enojyed Silent Hill, insisted on another game with violence. Yusuke and Kuwabara eliminated Final Fantasy 9 and Jak and Daxter, leaving only Parasite Eve and Inuyasha. Hiei had explained that he wanted to do Inuyasha last because it looked like the only good thing, so he chose Parasite Eve.   
  
"One of them is a police officer. The other is posessed by an ancient evil threatening all like on Earth. The horrifying bond between them will continue until something dies. Rated Mature for animated violence and mature sexual themes," Yusuke read proudly. "Best game I've ever played.You can even choose your own name. I named mine 'HotChick'," Yusuke announced.   
  
"Good for you, Yusuke," Kurama said.   
  
"Mature sexual themes?" Hiei questioned.   
  
"The villain's upper half is practically falling out and in one stage, she's totally and completely na-"Kuwabara was intruptted by a fist in the back of the head, curtosy of Kurama.   
  
"He means, the villain dresses suggestively," the kitsune explained.   
  
"Oh...." Taking another look at the cover, Hiei could have died of shock. "I HAVE TO PLAY AS A _GIRL_!?" he howled.   
  
"Yes, there are girls in video games," Kurama reminded him.   
  
After several convincing acts directed towards Hiei, the koorime finally decided to play the new game he was given, only if no one laughed at his choice for a name. Wanting Hiei to improve his fighting, they all agreed and that's how Hiei ended up holding the Playstation 2 controller for the second time.   
  
Kurama and Yusuke chose to sit with him as he played. "You only have to get to the sewer monster and beat it," Kurama instructed him while Yusuke was getting some popcorn.   
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Hiei growled. He still wasn't too pleased about playing as a girl. As his pale finger reached behind the machine to flip the switch, he remembered what Kurama had said about the villain. 'This is going to be so weird,' he thought. 'Cool.'   
  
**2 Minutes Later **  
  
Hiei, after mastering how to hold the controller, was finally allowed to name his character. "No one look," he growled, before facing the screen and clicking the letters. "Ok, you can look now." Yusuke was the first to look and gape.   
  
"FluffyBunny?" Kurama's eyes flew open after Yusuke said those words and stared at the name.   
  
"Errr, very nice Hiei." Both of the spectators sweatdropped.   
  
A vein popped out in Hiei's cheek. "You talk, you die."   
  
**2 More Minutes Later**  
  
As the koorime was about to walk onto the stage, Yusuke stopped him. "Hold it, dude. Eve may look tough, but she's really easy as all hells. "  
  
"So?"  
  
"So, conserve your ammo and use the baton."  
  
"Hn?"  
  
Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Like this." Yusuke snatched the controller and changed Hiei's weapon to the police stick. "There."  
  
Hiei took back the controller. "Next time, just tell me what to do and I'll do it myself."  
  
**10 Minutes Later  
**  
"A dead clown," Hiei said idly before adding with a sarcastic air, "How freaking wonderful."   
  
"Dude..." Yusuke said, munching on some popcorn.   
  
"It seems funnier when it's dead," Hiei commented, thoughtfully.   
  
"If that's the case, perhaps it's related to Suzuka," Kurama's gentle voice came from the armchair.   
  
Hiei's fingers moved quickly. "We can only pray it was Suzuka himself." With that, a battle between himself and two rats began.   
  
**5 Minutes Later**  
  
Hiei now understood what Kuwabara and Kurama had meant about the villain. She was wearing less than Ruka in a bikini. And she was busty-er than Ruka too. However, only one thing turned Hiei on and the authoress has no clue in hell what it is. "Good... god..."  
  
Kuwabara stalked into the room and saw what Hiei was attempting. The carrot top leaned over to Hiei's ear. "Listen runt. Lesson one of chicks," he proclaimed before howling in Hiei's ear. "DON'T HIT GIRLS!!!!"  
  
"ITAI!!" Hiei turned to Kuwabara, grinding his tiny fangs together. "Kisama... If I wasn't playing this, you would be dead as all hells." With that, he turned back to the screen, seeing his HP was already half down. "Kono yarou..."  
  
**3 minutes later**  
  
"MUWAHAHA!! DIE FROGGIES!!!" Hiei seemed to be enjoying himself, as he whacked up on the large faceless frog that he had found in the sewer level. However, as his joy was reaching a smile, he found himself getting hit more and more. Suddenly, in a flurry of OOC-ness, he made an "Eeep!" noise and turned to Yusuke. "Detective, this weapon is defective![1]"  
  
Yusuke, licking butter from his fingers, leapt from his place on the couch next to Kurama and took action. "OK, press start, down, X, select the gun, X, circle. "  
  
To anyone else, this would have seemed like code, but Hiei followed the directions and soon he was wielding a shotgun. "O...k... Frogs, MEET YOUR DEMISE!!"  
  
**5 minutes later**   
  
".... Well, congradu-freakin'-lations, Eve. You've some how made yourself even more repulsive," Hiei muttered under his breathe as the mutant croc that he was to fight took form from the water.   
  
Yusuke began to lecture the forbidden child about what to expect. "Ok, there are two parts to this enemy, the head and the tail. "  
  
"I can see that, detective."  
  
"The tail is all about defense and will probably take advantage of you being too close so be careful about the tail. After that, you fight the head which is all about offense. It'll attack more than the tail, so you'll have to play on defensive. "  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..."[2]  
  
With a flourish that only a master gamer could use, Hiei began to defeat the only thing that stood between him and another video game. His fingers flew over the controls, beating the croc's tail into submission. Finally, he simply had to beat the head. Which he did. "Ok, now what?"  
  
The Spirit Detective chuckled. "Now, me and Kurama get your new game while you take a chill pill, my friend." Yusuke and Kurama proceeded to leave the house while an exhausted fire demon fell backwards and took a nap, with his head on the seat of the couch.   
  
[ [1]= Wheee! It ryhmed.  
  
[2]= OOC Hiei! Wai!  
  
Well, I'm thinking Inuyasha next. Anyone else?] 


End file.
